Rejection played a huge role in my life. Rejection from my father, from classmates, and from men left me so vulnerable that I changed myself again and again. I became an overachiever. I bent over backwards to please people. I did things I didn’t even want to do—all in the hope that people would like me or, at the very least, not abandon me.
Each time I was rejected, I thought it was my fault. I carried the weight of responsibility for every failed relationship, every cruel comment, every silence where love should have been.
For years, rejection robbed me of my identity. But it didn’t keep it forever. This is my story of how I lost myself—and how I began reclaiming my identity.
I still remember the sweet, innocent little girl I used to be. I loved my curls—soft, long, and beautiful. But other kids didn’t see them the same way.
Girls laughed at me because I couldn’t style my hair like they did. Boys teased me, calling it frizzy.
So I thought, If my hair is the problem, I’ll just change it.
And I cut it off.
That one decision might seem small, but it was the beginning of a pattern: letting other people’s opinions dictate who I was. It was also the first moment I began to lose my sense of self. Looking back now, I see that this was where the journey of reclaiming my identity truly had to begin.
At home, there was no encouragement, no affection, no affirmation from my father. At school, I wasn’t the girl anyone wanted to date.
So when I was seventeen and finally heard the words, “You’re beautiful. I love you,” I believed them without question. I was desperate to feel valued.
But the man who said them was twenty-nine. And he molested me.
I told myself I was a willing participant. But the truth was, I wasn’t mature enough to know what I was stepping into. I just wanted to feel loved, wanted, and seen.
That moment marked a turning point. The innocent girl I once was began disappearing, and in her place, I started performing a role others expected of me—one that was never truly mine to play. The further I went down that road, the further I moved away from my true self—and the harder reclaiming my identity would one day become.
On the outside, I may have looked like I had it all together. People said I was beautiful. They admired my figure. They praised my hair.
But inside, I knew the truth: my life had been hijacked.
I was living for everyone else’s approval, chasing a sense of worth I couldn’t seem to find. The cost was high. I was never truly happy, because I was never truly myself.
This is what rejection does—it steals your sense of self and replaces it with a performance. And unless you stop and choose differently, you’ll never get the chance at reclaiming your identity.
It took years before I found the courage to stop living out of rejection and start reclaiming my identity.
I went back to the beginning, to those painful first moments when I had decided I wasn’t enough. I faced the lies I had believed and started asking new questions:
The answers weren’t easy. But they set me free.
I began surrounding myself with supportive friends—people who loved me just as I was. I let go of the voices that demanded I perform, and I leaned into my True Self and the Lord.
Slowly, I began to heal. Slowly, I became comfortable with who I am today.
As I healed, I realized my story wasn’t just about me. It was also about the women who, like me, had been told they weren’t enough. Women who had lived through abuse, trauma, or rejection and were left questioning their worth.
I didn’t want anyone else to walk this road alone.
So I began sharing my story. I spoke openly about the rejection, the pain, and the long process of reclaiming my identity. I wrote about what I had learned in my workbook and began teaching the very tools that had helped me. I discovered that my greatest wound could also be my greatest offering.
Out of that calling came Yesterday’s Gone, the nonprofit I founded to help women transition from domestic violence shelters or safe houses into independent living with dignity.
I know what it feels like to be trapped in a story that isn’t yours. I know the fear of leaving, the ache of rejection, and the courage it takes to start over. Yesterday’s Gone was born from my own journey and my determination to give women a choice: the choice to live free from abuse, to build new lives, and to reclaim their true selves.
For me, reclaiming my identity wasn’t just a personal victory—it became a mission to help others reclaim theirs too.
Rejection robbed me of my identity for years. But it didn’t get the final word.
With time, with healing, and with God’s help, I found myself again.
If rejection or abuse has played a role in your story, I want you to know this: your life can be rebuilt. Your identity can be restored. You are not alone.
That’s why I share my story. That’s why I do this work. Because I believe with all my heart that no woman should ever have to settle for a life defined by rejection or abuse.
You can step into freedom. You can begin reclaiming your identity. You can build the life you deserve.
Book a free discovery call to explore joining a support group designed for women breaking free from old patterns and reclaiming their identity.
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loree@loreetamayo.com
210.326.6662
1320 Arrow Point Drive, Ste. 501
Cedar Park, TX 78613
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